Create a Happy Relationship – the 3-legged stool

Create a Happy Relationship – the 3-legged stool

Relationships

One of the most common statements I hear many singles say is: If I were in a relationship, then I’d be happy.  That is cart-before-the-horse thinking. And here’s why I say that:

In my eyes, all relationships are like a 3-legged stool:

You and all that you bring to the experience operate as one of the legs.

The second leg is the other person.

The third leg is the relationship itself – the very act of creating a partnership creates a new entity which we call “relationship”. A relationship is as much outside of each of you as it is within, or part of, each of you. Together you and your partner/friend/relative/co-worker define and co-create it.

As you regard your co-created relationship as this 3-legged stool, you’ll see that for the stool to be sturdy, each leg needs to be sturdy. If you’re wobbly, the whole thing is going to be wobbly. Being in a relationship will not cause you to be strong. If anything, the relationship is going to test you. There’s really no getting around it.

So a successful stool or a happy relationship is best supported by people who realize that both parties need to contribute equally.

“How?” you ask?

Here then is your blueprint to create a happy relationship:

  • Increase your level of self-awareness, awareness of your partner and awareness of the relationship itself
  • Prioritize the relationship in attitude, behavior and action
  • Develop and hone a shared vision of your ideal relationship
  • Improve your level of proficiency with core relationship competencies

Ready to craft a stool worthy of the Metropolitan Museum of Art? Consider my programs the tools you need to help you build it. Enroll now!

Becoming a Warrior in service to your life

Becoming a Warrior in service to your life

Courage Freedom Spiritual Laws Success Word to the Wise

Including your love life
And as evidenced by my clients

I’m always curious about human nature – particularly in what motivates and compels us, why some people choose to accomplish and improve their lives and why others simply don’t. I am enamored of the capability to pursue a dream in the face of fear, curious about why some people succeed and others crumble, and even more interested in why others don’t even lift a finger.

This morning, I was reflecting on my clients and their collective coaching experiences from a bird’s eye view, which is the best perspective to see the collective forest as opposed to each individual tree, so that I could deeply understand what drew them into my coaching processes and to see what their common threads were. What is it about my clients that compelled them to take this journey?

As I was ruminating, I noticed they all possess this urgent, critical, and with some, Continue reading

Ask the Coach: What’s the magic formula for true love?

Ask the Coach: What’s the magic formula for true love?

Ask the Coach Dating Skills Dreams Fulfillment Relationships Solutions

Dear Coach Linda: I am so so soooo tired of being single. I went through a bitter divorce about 10 years ago and just cannot find someone I want to be with. Can you please tell me – what is the formula for making the magic happen?
Sincerely,
Mary A.

Hi Mary: I hear your longing to share your life with an extraordinary partner and I applaud your ability to make your goal clear. Without clarity of intention, there is only aimlessness. But I’m also noticing your statement about how tired you are – Continue reading

Empowered Dating Step #2 – Know (and like) Thyself

Empowered Dating Step #2 – Know (and like) Thyself

Dating Skills Self Discovery

Or, how to make much, much better choices and decisions that increase your odds for success

I’ve mentioned this before: if you want to enjoy the dating process and not suffer through it, a foundational ground rule is to know your requirements.

Your requirements are what you want to experience in a relationship – not so much about the attributes your date “must have.” Developing a list of attributes or qualities that you must see in another person is fruitless and Continue reading