How to empower your holidays

How to empower your holidays


Make your holidays happy AND energize your kick-a$$ single self at the same time

It’s that time of year again … the time when I see many singles get either frantic or depressed about not being in a relationship. Does that sound familiar? Does it seem like the rest of the world is going two-by-two, in step to the beat of the “Little Drummer Boy,” while you march to the tune of “Only the Lonely”?

Friends at Christmas-PartyIt’s no wonder that most singles are stressed at this time of year. Finding yourself alone during the holidays doesn’t match the pictures of togetherness depicted in television commercials. Indeed, the Hallmark version of how the holidays “should” be has forced many expectations on us that we can never live up to. As a result, it can seem like the darkest time of the year for many. Even those singles who are in madly in love with their lives harbor dreams of sharing this time of year with that perfect someone.

As I like to joke: don’t become a statistic. As an Empowered Single, you have the option to choose how you spend your holiday time this year. Here are some ways to Energize Your Powerful Single Self to have the most kick-a$$ holiday season ever.

 >  Be clear on your own values. What’s important to YOU this season? Community? Family? Service to others? Look at your list and determine whether the items on your list are really aligned with your own values – or, are they things someone else thinks you “should” care about?  What are you ready to say “NO” to this year? And what do you want to do instead?

 >  Mix n Mingle your way.  If being single during the holidays makes you cringe and want to stay home, find ways to take charge and claim your stake in the fun.  If you want to mix and mingle, think about how you’d like to do so. Are you going to huge impersonal parties when you really prefer smaller get-togethers where you know everybody? Reluctant to show up at events alone? If so, employ the buddy system!  Pick one friend to go places with, be it a girl or guy friend, a friend who you can be yourself with, laugh and dance with, and someone with whom you can completely relax and share the festivities of the season. For extra insurance also be proactive and ask the host to invite other singles they know and love – with you in mind!

>  Slow down. It’s understandable that many singles anxiously think ahead to the new year and, then of course, fast-forward to Valentine’s Day, so they amp up by going out on even more fruitless dates or going to even more single mingles (and then wind up dismayed and even more depressed). C0-Creating the Extraordinary is not a race. Being alone for the holidays may not be at the top of your to-do list, but if you’re hoping you can hurry up and find someone so that you can get that New Year’s kiss, think twice. Put away your computer and take a breath. Focus on today, tomorrow or next week — not next month. This is a good time to ask yourself how you can be proactive without rushing into something. Are you meeting people? How are you meeting people? If what you’re doing isn’t working, change it up. Consider what you can do differently so you can maximize your chances of meeting new people and, perhaps meet someone special!

Here's to a kick-a$$ holiday season!

Here’s to a kick-a$$ holiday season!

>  Practice Random Acts of Kindness.  Take a few moments to offer random acts of kindness to both those you know and those you don’t know. If someone else you know is having a difficult time coping with this holiday season, reach out to them. This will help you as much as it does them.

>  Practice Loving Kindness. As you prepare for the holidays, it’s easy to slip into a funk and beat yourself up, thinking that your entire life is a failure simply because you’re unattached. Practice being gentle with yourself. Think about the following:

  • Be more patient with yourself and with others.
  • Forgive yourself. Let go of your inner critical voice that picks on everything you have ever done. Be kind to yourself, let go of the past, and move on. You have a whole new beginning; it starts NOW, so embrace it.
  • Hold onto the things that are going well in your life.
  • Be grateful and express your appreciation towards others.
  • Let go of past regrets and fears of the unknown.
  • Focus on maintaining healthy eating habits, stay hydrated with pure water, get proper rest and plenty of exercise.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff and remember to keep giving the gift of LOVE without expectations of receiving anything back.

New Year’s Resolutions: Don’t dream it, be it

Dating Dreams Fulfillment Goals Homework Planning Relationships Resolutions Solutions Success

Don't wish for a great new yearIt’s a new year, another fresh start, another opportunity to dust off our dreams and desires and try them on again, in the hopes of attaining them. I’ve blogged about New Year’s resolutions before, (here and here) focusing on identifying the subconscious beliefs and behaviors prevent us from achieving our goals. What’s interesting to me is that, in my Continue reading