Ask the Coach: He has no close friends – Red Flag?

Ask the Coach: He has no close friends – Red Flag?

Ask the Coach Community Requirements

Hey Coach Linda,
I recently met this guy, Roy, at a friend’s party a few months ago – he teaches at the same high school that my friend does – and we’ve been hanging out fairly frequently since then. I find him smart, funny, gracious and kind as well as very attractive. There’s one thing I’ve noticed about him – he doesn’t appear to have any close friends or family. He doesn’t even have a best bud to hang out with. In fact, he often stays home alone. While I certainly like my down-time, I come from a big, close family and have always had a ton of friends so this is a bit unusual for me. Should I be concerned? Is this a red flag? ~ Lisa

Is this your guy?

Is this your guy?

Good timing on this question, Lisa – I’ve been having a number of 1:1 consultations with the people who registered for my Empowered Dating for Introverts webinar and the one commonality between them all is not having an extended mega-watt circle of friends. Not to say this is a bad thing. While I know, based on experience, that having a good social network is crucial to our health, well-being and even our career success, I also know that being a social butterfly does not mean having savvy intimacy skills. I know plenty of families and friends that spend time together, but lack intimacy.

You’re an active member of my community, Lisa, so I just want to remind you of some basic Empowered Dating Principles…Empowered Dating Continue reading

Empowered Dating for Introverts

Empowered Dating for Introverts

Courage Dating Dating Skills Fulfillment Relationships Self Discovery

Do you feel awkward, even apprehensive, when approaching or being approached by other people? Do you desperately want to connect with others, but don’t know how or can’t tolerate the anxiety that comes with interaction? Dating can seem extraordinarily hard for those who are either shy or introverted – taking risks to put oneself out there can seem like a daunting task. Plus our society tends to disfavor either trait; often we express this bias by encouraging shy and/or introverted people to see themselves as ill.

The truth is, more people than not are both. In fact, shyness and introversion – or more accurately, the careful, sensitive temperament from which both often spring – are not just normal, they are valuable. The challenge is when we long to make a connection and are Continue reading

Ask The Coach pt 3: How to be approachable

Ask The Coach pt 3: How to be approachable

Ask the Coach Dating Skills Fulfillment Self Esteem Self-Acceptance

What’s a single woman to do?

You want to remain open and be approachable yet you can’t help but put walls up.

I had a client, I’ll dub Mary out of respect for privacy, reach out to me to ask that question. “I want to be in a relationship, but every time a guy talks to me, no matter what he says, I get defensive.”

Man, can I relate. I remember there was a period where I wanted to fling daggers at any guy who tried to “chat me up”. Not exactly the right kind of attitude for me to adopt, given the fact that I wanted to find a romantic partner.

With this in mind, we set about coaching her through this feeling. After exploring with her for a while, it became apparent that she had trouble trusting, and was Continue reading