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Know what to look for when searching for the Empowered Single
Myths and fables have been around since our ancient ancestors sat around campfires and spun legendary stories about people or things that exist only in the imagination. Fortunately, an Empowered Single is not an urban legend or fairy tale, like a unicorn or dragon. Empowered Singles exist. They do! And I’ve seen them in their natural habitat.
They’re actually not hard to find – empowered singles share some common qualities*. Here’s how you can easily spot one:
- They possess a positive self-image with high levels of self-acceptance and acceptance of others – there’s no shame in their game.
- They can see life, circumstances, people and events clearly without over dramatization.
- They have a well-developed and even quirky sense of humor that is philosophical rather than hostile. They can laugh at themselves but never make jokes that hurt others.
- They possess self-knowledge and self-awareness, which is the ability to know thyself in all its facets and thereby know how others operate and then how to interact with them.
- They intentionally live their values on a daily basis, knowing that their values form the foundations of who they are and who they continue to become. To be self-aware it’s necessary to be aware of our values, to critically examine them, to intentionally live them, to use them as a guide as we make the best choices in any situation and to accept that our values may be different from those of others.
- They’ve identified their Life Visionand Life Purpose which reflects what they long to bring into the world and points them in the direction they want to move in.
- They set goals that reflect their values so they can take charge of their lives and move confidently in the direction of their dreams.
- They understand the hidden science of Cause and Effect, knowing that what they reap what they sow. They are self-starters, responsible for themselves, and own their behavior.
- They tend to be serene, characterized by a lack of worry, and retain dignity amid confusion and personal misfortune, all the while remaining objective.
- They resist conformity. They determine their own behavior and have their own views on people and events. Because they take an independent view, they can see situations and problems more objectively and consequently they tend to be creative and make valuable contributions to society.
- Their intimate relationships with specially loved people tend to be profound, sincere and long-lasting, rather than superficial. They respect others’ individuality and feel joy at another’s success.
- They are motivated to continual growth and tend to be inner-directed.
- They use positive and active language, knowing that their self-image is reflected in the words that they use. (For example, saying “I should” or “You should” behave in a certain way implies passivity and detracts from being in control and taking responsibility.)
Now that you know what to look for, perhaps you can start discerning who is empowered and who is not when you’re scouting, screening and sorting potential friends and romantic partners.
Maybe you can even do a little self-evaluation by taking the empowerment assessment featured in the next post.
And finally, remember that birds of a feather fly together so maybe now is a good time to be a member of my Empowered Singles nation – enroll HERE.
*Please know that I’m not making this sh*t up – Abraham Maslow, a famed American psychologist, made his career proving that humans are not blindly reacting to situations, but trying to accomplish something greater. He studied mentally healthy individuals (instead of people with serious psychological issues) and concluded that empowered or self-actualizing people indicate coherent personalities (relating to the unique patterns of experience and action that make each of us who we are) and represent optimal psychological health and functioning. He also proved that all the individuals he studied had similar personality traits. These are the traits I list above.