10 things to do right now to find your perfect partner

10 things to do right now to find your perfect partner

Dating Dreams

1. Start by losing the losers
If you want to find your soul mate, you must be available and not involved with people who aren’t right for you. It’s helpful to get crystal clear on what works for you in a relationship and what does not.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”
Do you have anything “unfinished” that might sabotage your next relationship? Get it handled now! This includes ridding yourself of beliefs and behaviors that prevent you from attracting the extraordinary.

3. Next, make a list your top five requirements
Your requirements are the “must haves” in your relationship, otherwise you would not enter into the relationship or you would leave if you were in it. Make a list of your non-negotiable deal-breakers and vow not to get involved with anyone who doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and to lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing
If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Empowered Dating. My clients focus on these four steps in-depth in my “Attract the Love of Your Life” coaching program.

• Scouting: This is the process of finding compatible people to meet, whether through internet dating sites, through friends, through getting out there, etc.

• Sorting: This is about quickly determining if someone you meet has potential. You’ll need to have your top five requirements handy.

• Screening: This step is concerned with collecting enough information about the other person to determine if your requirements would be met.

• Testing: This step involves dating a few times so that you can compare the reality with the information you gathered.

5. Get support
Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track. If you want to save yourself time and frustration (as well as unlock your joy and peace of mind), consider enrolling in my Become Successfully Single & Relationship Ready coaching programs.

6. Work it!
Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking for someone and network like crazy. Be smart about it though – the scattershot approach will only exhaust you.

7. Be positive and happy
Success breeds success, just as misery loves company. It’s your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!
Go after what you want proactively and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!
If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “no” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single
“If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”). By creating a life you love, you will naturally attract people who fit.

 

If you really, truly, once and for all, want to be happy in your life, enjoy being single, date blissfully and create extraordinary relationships, enroll in my Become Successfully Single & Relationship Ready coaching program. In the words of one of my clients, Anita: “This is the best gift that I gave myself”. Email me here to get started.

 

Many thanks to David Steele for this inspiration!

The Empowered Single: An urban legend?

The Empowered Single: An urban legend?

Self Discovery Self-Acceptance Uncategorized
We're no mythological creature...

We’re no mythological creature…

Know what to look for when searching for the Empowered Single

Myths and fables have been around since our ancient ancestors sat around campfires and spun legendary stories about people or things that exist only in the imagination. Fortunately, an Empowered Single is not an urban legend or fairy tale, like a unicorn or dragon. Empowered Singles exist. They do! And I’ve seen them in their natural habitat.

They’re actually not hard to find – empowered singles share some common qualities*. Here’s how you can easily spot one:

  • They possess a positive self-image with high levels of self-acceptance and acceptance of others – there’s no shame in their game.
  • They can see life, circumstances, people and events clearly without over dramatization.
  • They have a well-developed and even quirky sense of humor that is philosophical rather than hostile. They can laugh at themselves but never make jokes that hurt others.
  • They possess self-knowledge and self-awareness, which is the ability to know thyself in all its facets and thereby know how others operate and then how to interact with them.
  • They intentionally live their values on a daily basis, knowing that their values form the foundations of who they are and who they continue to become. To be self-aware it’s necessary to be aware of our values, to critically examine them, to intentionally live them, to use them as a guide as we make the best choices in any situation and to accept that our values may be different from those of others.
  • They’ve identified their Life Visionand Life Purpose which reflects what they long to bring into the world and points them in the direction they want to move in.
  • They set goals that reflect their values so they can take charge of their lives and move confidently in the direction of their dreams.
  • They understand the hidden science of Cause and Effect, knowing that what they reap what they sow. They are self-starters, responsible for themselves, and own their behavior.
  • They tend to be serene, characterized by a lack of worry, and retain dignity amid confusion and personal misfortune, all the while remaining objective.
  • They resist conformity. They determine their own behavior and have their own views on people and events. Because they take an independent view, they can see situations and problems more objectively and consequently they tend to be creative and make valuable contributions to society.
  • Their intimate relationships with specially loved people tend to be profound, sincere and long-lasting, rather than superficial. They respect others’ individuality and feel joy at another’s success.
  • They are motivated to continual growth and tend to be inner-directed.
  • They use positive and active language, knowing that their self-image is reflected in the words that they use.  (For example, saying “I should” or “You should” behave in a certain way implies passivity and detracts from being in control and taking responsibility.)

empowered woman on grassNow that you know what to look for, perhaps you can start discerning who is empowered and who is not when you’re scouting, screening and sorting potential friends and romantic partners.

Maybe you can even do a little self-evaluation by taking the empowerment assessment featured in the next post.

And finally, remember that birds of a feather fly together so maybe now is a good time to be a member of my Empowered Singles nation – enroll HERE.

 

*Please know that I’m not making this sh*t up – Abraham Maslow, a famed American psychologist, made his career proving that humans are not blindly reacting to situations, but trying to accomplish something greater. He studied mentally healthy individuals (instead of people with serious psychological issues) and concluded that empowered or self-actualizing people indicate coherent personalities (relating to the unique patterns of experience and action that make each of us who we are) and represent optimal psychological health and functioning. He also proved that all the individuals he studied had similar personality traits. These are the traits I list above.

Ask the Coach: Where are all the spiritual guys?

Ask the Coach: Where are all the spiritual guys?

Ask the Coach Spiritual Laws

Dear Coach Linda,
I’ve been doing personal and spiritual growth work for really long time. I am passionate about self-awareness and evolution and I’ve taken every workshop and read every book there is about love and relationships. I have a lot of friends and a career I like. But everywhere I look I find rude men who have done no inner work. I’m frustrated that, after so much looking, I still can’t find the one for me. I feel left out of an important part of life and now, I feel there is little hope of finding anyone to share my life with. I’m afraid of being alone forever. What should I do?
~ Christie

Buddha-with-Heart

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Christie, I congratulate you for pursuing a path of personal and spiritual growth. I feel your passion regarding self-awareness and your evolutionary journey.

It does seem like a paradox: you work diligently on “self-actualization”, to come to a sense of inner peace and harmony … and then look around to find not many other people have done the same. I read the other day that on average, more women tend to have a heightened relational and emotional maturity level that serves as an advantageous gateway to higher consciousness. (This doesn’t mean that all men don’t have emotional maturity – I know many who do.) I also read that women also tend to have more synapses linking to Continue reading

How to Live a Life You Love

How to Live a Life You Love

Dreams Fulfillment Success

… What I’m talking about isn’t just some feel-good mumbo jumbo

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. —Eleanor Roosevelt

The next topic in my Empowered Dating monthly teleseminar series will focus on Living a Life You Love, during which we’ll use one of my favorite coaching exercises, envisioning the future, to help you get clarity on your ideal life.

Create the highest life visionYou’ll find this topic to be deeply meaningful to you because you’ll learn why being clear about your life vision is really the key to your future happiness, why most people haven’t explored their life vision and the unfortunate consequences of that, how to identify the limiting beliefs that hold you back from uncovering your life vision, and why self-prioritization is your compass to leading a fulfilled life.

Most people who are single and Continue reading

Shy No More: Tips for Empowered Dating

Shy No More: Tips for Empowered Dating

Courage Dating Dating Skills Self-Acceptance Uncategorized

Last night I hosted a special teleclass on Empowered Dating for Introverts and judging by the fevered pitch of dismay I received from those who missed it, this is a hot topic. I thought I would share here the kernels of what I discussed, including a step-by-step process to help you (as an introvert and/or as someone who is shy) date to your strengths.

Before we get into strategies and tactics, let’s differentiate between Shyness and Introversion because the two are not the same. According to Psychology Today, Shyness is the awkwardness or apprehension some people feel when approaching or being approached by other people. Shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don’t know how or can’t tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction. Introverts, on the other hand, have the interpersonal skills and healthy self-esteem needed for interacting with others yet feel most energized by time alone. Shy people want very much to be with others but lack the social skills and self-esteem to take a chance. Introverts seek time alone because they want time alone. At a party, you might see an introvert and a shy person standing against the wall, but the introvert prefers to be there, while the Continue reading

Attract the Extraordinary Now – Exclusive Consultation

Attract the Extraordinary Now – Exclusive Consultation

Ask the Coach Courage Planning Relationships Solutions Special Events

Limited Time Only

By the fact that you’re reading this blog post, you’re indicating your interest in experiencing an extraordinary life and an extraordinary relationship — where you are fully engaged in the things that are important to you, where you are completely empowered, are living your life vision and are experiencing extraordinary relationships.

Loving your life and attracting the love of your life all starts with becoming Successfully Single and Relationship Ready – and I’d like to help you do that.

For a limited time, I’m offering a special “Attract an Extraordinary Relationship Now” consultation for ZERO COST. During this exclusive private coaching session we’ll work together to: Continue reading

Is your current relationship the right one for you?

Attitudes Dating Dating Skills Fulfillment Requirements Solutions Success

From The Chooser files, an assessment

The other night I hosted a webinar on Being the Chooser – a new paradigm for attracting the extraordinary.

(FYI: I also use the words Creator and Architect interchangeably for the word Chooser – it all refers to the same thing: taking the initiative to create what you want, taking full responsibility for your outcomes and making choices mindful of their long-term consequences…. In other words, think about what you want for yourself in your life. A fulfilling relationship? Success in your career? Financial serenity? Whatever your aims are, to get what you want, you must be the Chooser.)

Continue reading

10 Commandments of Attracting Extraordinary Relationships

Attitudes Dating Dating Skills Dreams Fulfillment Relationships Requirements Self Discovery Success
Just say no to "meh"

Just say no to “meh”

Interested in attracting the extraordinary? Not satisfied with “meh” (or worse, destructive) relationships? Congratulations – and welcome to Empowered Dating & Relationships, a new paradigm. I do not believe – not for one second – that we need to settle for anything less than the very best in our lives. I think that men and women alike can come together from this space of empowerment and vitality and learn to co-create relationships that are uplifting, exciting and Continue reading

Ladies, it is time to call out the power

Attitudes Courage Dating Freedom Fulfillment Relationships Self Discovery Self-Acceptance Success
wonder-woman

What would Wonder Woman post on Facebook?

As I scan all of the status posts on my Facebook page, I see so many women posting articles about men. Here’s a sampling of what I’ve seen over the weekend:  Seven types of men who will never marry. Nine types of women that men do not want to marry. Why women fall for bad boys. 10 ways to know you’re dating a real man. Creativity, madness and drugs. Does your dog love you back? Oh wait – sorry –  those two are my own. … Let’s move back to the topic, shall we? Continue reading