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Let’s Bust the Valentine’s Day Blues
Back in the day when I was a relationship train-wreck, before I started to get my sh*t together about my self-esteem and intimacy issues, I used to despise Valentine’s Day, and all its reminders about romance and being in love and all those ads where pretty gals were surprised and delighted to be presented beautiful diamond engagement rings by handsome dudes. I used to hang black crepe paper ribbons in my work cubicle, wear all black, and regard the day as a day of mourning. I used to range emotionally from seething to despair around this time of year. I know I am (was) not alone – I talk to many singles now who regard Valentine’s Day as an unwelcome reminder of their “alone-ness” and longing for a loving connection.
Now, however, I’ve done a sh*t load of inner work to restore my vision of myself as worthy, and as a result, I’ve completely neutralized my negative interpretations of this holiday. I’m relieved (even glad) to say that I feel Valentine’s Day does not have to be a downer. Believe it or not, Valentine’s Day can be a great day to celebrate being single!
Of course, the journey to having a blast on Valentine’s Day starts with an internal journey – of returning to and rediscovering yourself – and having a vision of a kick-a$$ life that is so irresistible and magnetic that you can draw everything your heart desires into your life. (Then of course the next objective is to work toward that vision of a kick-a$$ life.)
Think about this: Which is more likely to lead to success?
The belief that you are not worthy, less than deserving, or that it is never going to happen because it hasn’t so far.
The belief that you are worthy, you deserve and you will attract a wonderful life, including the right person, who will love and value you for being you?
Rumi said “That which you seek is seeking you.” The soul mate you are in search of is also in search of you. Are you ready and available for this person? If you are holding onto any hurts or are still locked into a battle of feeling unworthy, this will block you from attracting your soul mate.
This topic is the subject of my next Empowered Relationships webinar (register here soon for no cost access) during which we’ll talk about how to have a kick-a$$ life, but in the meantime, here are some beginning actions you can take:
> Clear the space for your beloved to enter your life by letting go of your past and embracing your present, as well as creating an emotional and physical space for your beloved to step into
> Become the Chooser and take responsibility for your life and your outcomes. It’s important to fully embrace your ability to make positive choices for yourself. You don’t have to say “Yes” to someone because you fear you might be single for the rest of your life. Saying “Yes” to someone who isn’t your true soul mate will block your true love! Don’t settle for less.
> Practice being your true self. Get to know yourself. Fall in love with yourself. Know that you are perfect exactly as you are, warts and all! When you are your authentic self, others in your life show up as their authentic selves. Only then can your relationships be truly genuine.
> Try something new. Einstein said, “The sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Dare to try something different. Get up. Get out and get socializing in a way that resonates with you! If you enjoy Nature, join a group for a Nature walk. If you enjoy football, join a group of men AND women that meets up to watch football. Or maybe you’ve been meaning to learn how to dance. Now is the time to explore.