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Desperately fear being single? Read this
Zombie Single symptoms medically explained
I use the phrase “Zombie Single” tongue in cheek as a humorous way to refer to those singles who are blindly obsessed with finding a partnership.
A zombie single is characterized by feelings of desperation and crushing loneliness while at the same time doing the same things, expecting different results – without any thought or reflection upon their actions and their consequences.
Afraid of being alone, they attend every generic singles event that they can find on Meet Up yet still aren’t getting any closer to living a life they love.
They don’t have a close network to rely on, they’ve done no inner work to resolve sabotaging beliefs and behaviors.
They are unconsciously motivated by a deep fear of being single, unaware of what’s driving them.
While I use the phrase in jest, I gotta love science. Turns out there is an actual phobia to describe what zombie singles suffer from:
Anuptaphobia (check it out)
Medically defined as “a morbid fear of staying or remaining single,” Anuptaphobia is not your average phobia, and judging by some of the conversations I have with people, it’s safe to say we’re living through an epidemic.
An entire generation has succumbed to Anuptaphobia and the symptoms have been running rampant throughout the U.S. Even the most accomplished and intelligent single women and men have been falling this recently named phobia. Even the strong aren’t safe.
All kidding aside, the Fear of Being Single is actually a psychological condition brought on by numerous factors, including traumas that we’ve experienced in our past. Yet I think it’s safe to say we’ve tainted our own water.
Over time, we’ve created a culture that doesn’t support relationships, yet we still hold romantic, Hollywood-ified expectations of love. We’ve swallowed the You Complete Me pill to the point where we can’t feel whole without another person, while also not knowing how to be together. Capable and smart singles are walking around as empty shells, feeling worthless and defeated.
The worst part about Anuptaphobia is that people waste their lives letting it control them. They live lives of quiet desperation, suffering under its influence, refusing to believe they can have happy lives independent of being in a relationship.
They can’t see that they can be happy as an individual, that marriage isn’t the panacea they hope it will be. They’re hindered by the fear that they’ll be isolated and alone and depressed.
Then, they wind up manifesting the very thing they fear the most.
You, too, may be suffering from this disease – but before you can treat yourself, you must first properly diagnose yourself.
Here’s how you can tell if you’re suffering from Anuptaphobia:
You habitually stay in relationships that don’t work
You have a tendency to try and push square pegs into round holes. You end up with partners not because they’re right, but because they’re there. You settle for relationships and people because you’d rather settle now than strive for something great later. You are so deathly terrified of being on your own that you’ll stay with someone you don’t even like.
You obsessively think about marriage & love
Your mind is constantly preoccupied with romantic notions of “the perfect life” and “happily ever after” that you can’t see how good your real life is right now. You obsess over things beyond your control, creating delusions and fantasies of a life even Hollywood can’t properly achieve. You forget to look around you and enjoy the moment because you’re constantly obsessing over how lonely you feel.
You feel inadequate
You feel painfully incomplete. You feel as if you’re walking around with a gaping wound, the other half of you missing. You are not completely present when people talk to you because you feel you have nothing good to offer. You think that because you are single, you are worthless. Because you are alone, you have nothing to offer. Yet what you don’t realize is your inadequacy is all in your head.
You are unable to spend time alone
You get worked up and anxious when you are by yourself for too long. You never understood the idea of enjoying your own company and would rather eat glass before living in an apartment or home by yourself. You fill all of your free time with things to do, especially with friends you don’t even like that much. You don’t even want to get used to your own company.
You over-analyze everything
When dating, you obsess over how the other person thinks or acts, trying to figure out what the person is doing. Enough said.
… If you’ve discovered that you might be afraid of being single, there are plenty of things you can do to help you relax. My next blog post will spell out some simple solutions.
But in the meantime, through my Become Successfully Single & Relationship Ready home study coaching program, you’ll learn what’s behind your fear and your feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction.
More importantly, you’ll learn how to overcome the lack of self-love due to past trauma, parental dysfunction or just typical childhood experiences that lead many of us to believe we’re not worthy of love.
You’ll learn new ways you can let go of what’s blocking you from feeling in complete acceptance of yourself. I’ll share strategies of how to move through the dark feelings of loneliness and rejection that stem from feeling afraid of being single.
You’ll learn the proven techniques that hundreds of singles have used in the last several decades that have led them to more personal fulfillment, inner peace and higher self-esteem.
When you follow my program, you’ll knock fear out of your life by making the kinds of shifts that will empower you, fill you with confidence, and make you incredibly attractive to the partner you’re looking for.
Fear can keep you trapped and loveless. It can cause you to repeat the very same patterns that are preventing you from finding the love you deserve. I know my programs can show you a new way – the fearless path to lasting love.
To learn more, click here.