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Empowered Dating Step #1: Date with Your Life Purpose in Mind
What do you want in life? What is the greater purpose of your life? What is your life’s legacy?
In my “5 Essential Principles for Blissfully Successful Dating” webinar that I held last week, I talk about how important it is to identify your top non-negotiable requirements that you want to experience in a relationship. Without these requirements clearly defined and understood on an emotional level, you will consistently find yourself frustrated by your choices.
But in actuality, the first real step to dating consciously (and improving your odds of finding a healthy relationship) rests on a three-legged stool: Your top requirements are based on your values, which are linked to your life purpose. This is the holy trinity for success, so to speak, not only for dating, but also for other areas of your life such as career success and financial serenity.
Not surprisingly, when I talk about values and life purpose in relation to dating success, most people don’t understand why it’s important.
What I mean by the phrase: Life (or Major Definite) Purpose
For all intents, the definition of your life purpose boils down to you putting into practice your highest values, which give your life meaning and direction. Your major definite purpose is the difference you want to make in the world while you are alive, and the legacy you want to leave behind when you are gone.
Why knowing your life purpose is so important, even (especially) when it comes to dating:
People who know what their life purposes are, and live congruent with them, act in direct accordance with their dreams, desires, beliefs, values, mission and goals. They do not let the thoughts of others affect their approach to the world.
How does this relate to dating?
Whether you know it or not, congruency with life purpose is often what attracts you to another person. When you are congruent with your major definite purpose, some remarkable things happen:
- Your energy and desire to make a difference increases dramatically.
- You feel at peace that you are going about life with intention. You are no longer swimming upstream.
- Decisions become easy to make.
- Things start to fall into place with less effort.
- You are more successful with your goals because they are in alignment.
- You begin to exude the energy of inherent trust and reliance.
- Your confidence skyrockets.
Notice that I made #7 boldface? Want to take a guess why? That’s right — it’s the confident bird that gets the worm. And speaking of birds, if you took at bird’s eye view of these 7 results of being congruent with your life purpose, you might even conclude that congruent people are confident people who are at peace with themselves and their lives. It’s appealing and alluring. I sure love being around people who are congruent… wouldn’t you? (I’m betting on yes.)
Congruency leads to attraction and connection…something we are all looking for.
Ironically, most people are overly concerned with “where to find a good man/woman” or “how to have winning first dates” without realizing that if they knew what they valued in life, and had a clearer idea of their major definite purpose, they’d make better decisions about who to ask out in the first place (based on having more in common). This insight helps stack the odds that the date would turn out well and lead to a healthy relationship.
In addition, once you know what you want and what you believe in, you start to show it more through your words and actions, which leads to being around more compatible, like-minded people. And what tends to happen when you are surrounded with people who are on the same page as you? Chances are you’ll have much better odds for finding a well-suited partner.
Try as you might, relationships that are not aligned with your values, and life purpose, are doomed.
As the adage goes, you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.
It turns out that as humans we naturally want to act in a way that is consistent with our past actions and beliefs. The difficulty is we often don’t know our true beliefs and values.
Here’s how you can figure it out:
Your goal is to reconnect to your true self and uncover your mission. The purpose you seek is lying dormant … just waiting to be awakened.
We all have a mission, an emotional mission. This mission is then played out here in physical form. I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. It has nothing to do with how successful we are or how many cars we own. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist. Our true mission is much deeper and goes well beyond the scope of our daily activities.
So, how do you discover your real purpose in life?
A Quick Exercise
1. What are you passionate about in life?
Make a list of all the things in life that bring you joy. The more expansive the list, the better it will be. Allow yourself to dream well beyond your normal limited thinking.
If you can’t figure out your PURPOSE, figure out your PASSION, For your passion will lead you right into your purpose. ~ T.D. Jakes
2. What are your top values?
Ask yourself, “What values and virtues do I most admire and wish to practice in my life?”
If you wanted to discover your strengths in the work world, first you would define your values as they apply to employment.
If you wanted to discover the kind of relationship that makes you happy, first you would define what values you’d want to experience in the relationship.
These values point to what your major definite purpose is.
Now – get congruent!
To do so, you must do two things:
1. Understand what it is you stand for and are passionate about adding to this world.
2. Set your life up so that you can act in alignment with these beliefs on a daily basis.
… So what’s your life purpose?
Interested in figuring out your life purpose and living in alignment with it, but need some support? I’d be hapy to help! Please email me: Linda@aurorasana.com
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