How to make the New Year epic in 10 easy steps

How to make the New Year epic in 10 easy steps

Dreams Goals Planning Success

There’s nothing like New Year’s Day to make us take stock of our lives – to see what we’ve accomplished and what we’ve failed to accomplish. Most people I know use this holiday to beat themselves up over their failures while simultaneously making vague “resolutions” to achieve more.

Usually this approach brings the same results.

As a life coach, I enjoy helping my clients move toward the realization of their dreams – to help them create a life they love – so there’s nothing that pains me more than seeing people not get results, give up on their dreams, to give in to inertia, to not live up to their potential.

Let’s make sure that you are among the few who DO get results.

In that spirit, I wanted to give you some exercises to help you get crystal clear on your new goals and the actions required to make them happen. The key is to keep all of this simple, actionable yet at the same time exciting. Life should never be boring.

So here goes.

Preparation

Clear your calendar and get out your journal – be prepared to put pen to paper. Then make sure you’re somewhere where you can remain undisturbed for a period. Allow yourself to think in terms of “awesomeness”.

Step One

Reflect and Review:

What made last year awesome and not so awesome? What have you accomplished and what are you proud of? List these out on a sheet of paper. What about the low points of the year – what don’t you want to repeat? List these out on a sheet of paper, too.

If you were a journalist writing about your year, in an objective way, what would your headline say?

What are you most proud of in the last year? What new dream for yourself did you achieve?

What unfinished business did you want to resolve before the end of the year? When will you do it?

When were you most excited about life this past year? What are you doing? Who were you with? What was boring to you this past year that you want to change for the New Year? What made it boring?

Looking back at the previous year, what would you have done differently? Where did you let fear hold you back from a goal you had? When did you have the courage to try something different?

Take some time to write out your answers to these questions. This foundational exercise was meant to get you started – we’ll build upon what you’ve written down here.

Then, tune in over the next few days for Step 2 where we define your areas of attention as well as Step 3 through which we define your resolutions and new habits. From there, in Steps Four and Five, we will create a core goal in each area you want to improve and then we’ll get specific about what you really want. In Step 6, we’ll figure out a compelling reason why you want to make these changes — from there, in Steps 7 and 8, we’ll create baby steps to get you moving forward as well as get all of the steps on a calendar. Then finally in Steps 9 and 10, we will create accountability structures and how we can routinely review your progress.

So stay tuned!

New Year resolutions

Misery buster: Stop comparing your life to others

Misery buster: Stop comparing your life to others

Self Esteem Success

Comparison is the thief of joy – Teddy Roosevelt

Because I believe in “doing well” in my life and in my career, I recently joined a prosperity mindset group, thinking that I could use some support as I incline my mind toward abundance. Every day I read about other people’s positive evidences, the tangible proof as the group members begin to grow and expand and manifest.

Some of these positive evidences have been mind-boggling big, such as one woman’s attendance at a networking event and walking away with three new clients. I mean, WOW.

Comparison Envy

Her plant is bigger than my plant. What the heck?

Yet I’ve been noticing something that’s been happening frequently these days. Every time I read other people’s positive evidence, I began to fall into an age-old trap –The Comparison Trap. Every time I read their statements, I started to think:  What’s wrong with me? How is it that they are experiencing such rapid manifestation? … and I then would sink into dismay.

We ALL fall into this trap – I often hear this from many of my clients as well as friends and peers. For instance, a friend of mine was recounting the time when he was invited to a party at a big warehouse in Brooklyn, along the waterfront in Williamsburg. He was having a great time enjoying the smooth jazz, box wine and delicious hors d’oeuvres, all while talking with people who were dynamic and intelligent and worldly – just the kind of people he loves talking with. Later in the evening he noticed a steady parade of well-heeled people slide past and disappear into another room. He peeked and saw a large party with beautiful revelers dancing and carrying on like Bacchus. Suddenly he was seized by despair, thinking that his gig wasn’t as fun as it had been all because it didn’t appear to measure up to the party next door- a party he didn’t even know existed until just moments before.

I think single people are more prone to this trap because we have the added pressure of thinking that there’s something wrong with us that we’re not in a relationship. We’re already dealing with feelings of “less-than”.

jealous-friend

Green-eyed monster will eat your brains.

And our consumer culture is built on this comparison trap and our feelings of dismay and envy. It’s like a cultural institution because that is the prime motivation for selling lots and lots of “stuff”.

The thing is, comparing ourselves to others in anything, whether spiritual growth, business, weight, finances, relationships, appearance, and bling, isn’t useful.  Every time you look at something and feel less than, your energy becomes lower and you cut off your ability to attract the very thing you want to achieve. Comparison doesn’t do anything of value. So therefore, the most transformational changes that we hope to make really HAVE to start on the inner level, working with our subconscious limiting beliefs and inner critic, learning to trust ourselves and feel good about our lives.

Also, remember to not always believe what you see. In the cases where people are talking about the great things that are happening in their lives, we need to recognize that people aren’t often open to sharing their challenges. You only know what people present as a persona. I always explain to people when they are comparing themselves to others, that you don’t really know what’s going on for them.

SO the next time you find yourself saying things like “Mary has a bigger car,” or “Sarah gets all the lucky breaks”, or “Tom has more money,” or “Jeff is better looking”… just remember to Snap Out of It! Focus on the things that are going well in your life and if you want MORE, allow yourself to do the necessary work to achieve it.

How to Live a Life You Love

How to Live a Life You Love

Dreams Fulfillment Success

… What I’m talking about isn’t just some feel-good mumbo jumbo

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. —Eleanor Roosevelt

The next topic in my Empowered Dating monthly teleseminar series will focus on Living a Life You Love, during which we’ll use one of my favorite coaching exercises, envisioning the future, to help you get clarity on your ideal life.

Create the highest life visionYou’ll find this topic to be deeply meaningful to you because you’ll learn why being clear about your life vision is really the key to your future happiness, why most people haven’t explored their life vision and the unfortunate consequences of that, how to identify the limiting beliefs that hold you back from uncovering your life vision, and why self-prioritization is your compass to leading a fulfilled life.

Most people who are single and Continue reading

Becoming a Warrior in service to your life

Becoming a Warrior in service to your life

Courage Freedom Spiritual Laws Success Word to the Wise

Including your love life
And as evidenced by my clients

I’m always curious about human nature – particularly in what motivates and compels us, why some people choose to accomplish and improve their lives and why others simply don’t. I am enamored of the capability to pursue a dream in the face of fear, curious about why some people succeed and others crumble, and even more interested in why others don’t even lift a finger.

This morning, I was reflecting on my clients and their collective coaching experiences from a bird’s eye view, which is the best perspective to see the collective forest as opposed to each individual tree, so that I could deeply understand what drew them into my coaching processes and to see what their common threads were. What is it about my clients that compelled them to take this journey?

As I was ruminating, I noticed they all possess this urgent, critical, and with some, Continue reading

Life doesn’t happen by osmosis

Dreams Goals Planning Success

… Don’t let your regrets outnumber your dreams

I had the pleasure of attending a “women in business” networking event yesterday (on a Saturday – at 8:30 in the morning – in the middle of winter – with an hour drive to the venue – I might add just so you can gauge the level of my commitment to this group) during which one of the panelists stated: “Life doesn’t happen by osmosis”. A little while later, another panelist said: “You don’t age until your regrets outnumber your dreams”. These quotes struck a chord with me and got me to thinking about the change process, since at the core, my role as a coach is to be a change agent, a role filled with paradoxes and irony. Ironic because most people want to improve their lives in some way (make more money, get a better job, lose weight, find and keep true love) – yet at the very same time, most are deathly afraid of making the needed changes to achieve what Continue reading

New Year’s Resolutions: Stretching for the stars

Courage Creativity Dreams Fulfillment Goals Homework Planning Resolutions Solutions Success

True confidence can only be found if we put our creative vision for our life to the test, and stretch our selves to the utmost.  – 3 of Wands

What you are is what you have been, what you will be is what you do now. – Buddha

If you’re like me, the New Year always brings with it an element of nostalgia – or better yet, regret – because I realize that I didn’t quite accomplish what I said I was going to do. When you look back at 2013, what are the things that you most regret NOT doing? In the early months of 2014, are you on track to NOT DOING them again? Rather than beat myself up, however, I look at January as an ideal opportunity to transform regrets into opportunities, or goals, for this coming year. And then, because I like to focus on the extraordinary, think about how these goals can S*T*R*E*T*C*H. I love stretch goals because they challenge us to break out of the routine. Are you ready to stretch your goals and give yourself a good mental/emotional workout? Continue reading

New Year’s Resolutions: Don’t dream it, be it

Dating Dreams Fulfillment Goals Homework Planning Relationships Resolutions Solutions Success

Don't wish for a great new yearIt’s a new year, another fresh start, another opportunity to dust off our dreams and desires and try them on again, in the hopes of attaining them. I’ve blogged about New Year’s resolutions before, (here and here) focusing on identifying the subconscious beliefs and behaviors prevent us from achieving our goals. What’s interesting to me is that, in my Continue reading

It’s time to attract the extraordinary!

Dating Skills Dreams Fulfillment Goals Planning Relationships Resolutions Special Events Success

Let’s Make 2014 the Year that You Attract the Extraordinary! Do you want to see all of your New Year’s resolutions come true? Do you want to attract an extraordinary relationship, or make current relationship gleam? Now’s the time get this party started! Let’s shut the door on 2013 and open a new one, to a life that sparkles with good friends, healthy finances and a thriving career – and most of all, let this be the year that you find Continue reading

What are men looking for in a relationship?

Relationships Solutions Success Uncategorized

I’ve lately been talking with some women who are in a whirl over “how to understand men.” Some of them don verbal grenade launchers when they start talking about guys, while others wring their hands, urgently and anxiously trying to figure out the Masculine Mysteries.

When I’m coaching people, I generally redirect my clients’ attention back to themselves because I find that fulfillment is not about changing other people’s behaviors to suit us, or trying to figure out what motivates others. In my experience, fulfillment is about discovering Continue reading

How ready are you for change?

Attitudes Courage Creativity Dreams Fulfillment Goals Homework Planning Prosperity Self Discovery Self Esteem Solutions Success

Do you believe in your life vision enough to “go for it”, to take up that vision with both hands? All creative ventures, including the forging of our ideal life, begin a little at a time, where an idea may lead to another, snowballing and gaining momentum. But the creation of our vision has to start somewhere – we need to move beyond the sanctuary of our proverbial caves, the place where we may be safe and warm but yet stagnant. Our caves might be the debilitating self-doubts and behaviors that, while creating an illusion of Continue reading