Your Epic Life: How to become your dreams

Your Epic Life: How to become your dreams

Dreams Goals Planning Resolutions Solutions

The one thing that I see many people do is create goals for themselves and then store all of that in their heads. They may state their goals out loud but don’t go as far as writing them down. So what happens? Time slips by. Day after day goes by without them making a conscious effort to work toward them until 6 months elapse and they still haven’t achieved what they wanted to achieve.

Conversely I also see people overcommit (as we discussed in Steps 1 and 2). The problem with overcommitting is that it leads to under-delivering. Everything we do takes up physical time in our lives. Without putting things on the calendar, it’s easy to plan way too much. Too much that leads to overwhelm which leads to the opposite of progress.

Step 8

Put in on your calendar

Take a look at the goals and the habits that you’ve committed to over the past few steps. Begin to place each into various months. While doing so, be conscious of your life. For example, if you know you’ll be traveling all of June, then don’t expect huge results that month. If some of your goals will take the whole year to complete, then fill in your minor tasks in the months where you will take the action.

Goals, habits and outcomes by month

calendar for goals

Step 9

Create accountability structures

We tend to keep our word much better with others than with ourselves. Pick at least four people close to you to tell about your goals. They become your accountability allies. Walk them through this process. Explain why it’s so incredibly important to you and even give them a copy of your goals and plans. Ask for their help. If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you know how important it is to have a support network. Most singles do not have enough people in their lives to lean on, thinking that their romantic relationship needs to meet all of their social needs. This is an excellent opportunity for you to practice leaning on friends and family members.

Accountability ally:                                                                                                                             
How they will keep you accountable (ex.: weekly check ups, whip cracking, etc.):              

Step 10

Routinely review your progress

To see massive progress, you must keep your plans front of mind. Create a routine that allows you to review the above at least on a weekly basis. Anything more in frequent than weekly makes it too easy to keep the ideas and dreams just that – ideas and dreams. They only become reality when we consistently address them and make small, gradual progress. In one year, that can become enormous.

Write down when you will review your goals on a routine basis.

Day of week:                                                                                                                                                  
Time of day:                                                                                                                                                   

Next, do something now – no matter how small.

Never leave a planning session without taking some action to get you closer to victory. It could be the tiniest thing in the world. Maybe send a short email or make a quick list. Pick something that only takes 5 minutes or less. And then do it. Let the momentum build.

Pick 1 small task for your top few goals that you can do right now to get you closer.

1.
2.
3.
4.

You can become your dreams — just add consistency

Congratulations! The fact that you have finished this process means you are nearly guaranteed to experience your dreams. As long as you do one thing… work!

Dreams, aspirations, andgoals don’t become reality merely by dreaming. That is the very first and simplest step. The magic happens when a consistent process of dedicated and inspired action is applied to the things that matter most in your life. Make no mistake – massive hard work is required.

When you are committed on such a level, the sky is literally the limit. That is what turns the impossible into the possible and is what makes the difference between an epic life and an ordinary one.

Every life can be epic in its own way.

All we have to do is want it badly enough. That part is up to you. So here’s to a year of life on your terms. I’ll see you out there!

floral border

Is one of your goals to create or improve your ideal career, or to create a strong support network, or to find the love of your life? I think I can help.

It turns out that 80% of singles over 40 don’t enjoy their lives. You’re not alone – and yet it doesn’t have to be that way. The good news is that last July, I created a self-study course called Create a Life You Love to help with those exact goals.   It contains six easy to follow modules with exercises to complete to ensure your success and there are also workbooks, 2 complimentary coaching sessions and weekly action plans that comes with it.

Since it’s the new year in this topic mean so much to me, I’m offering a 20% off discount code for the first two weeks of February for those who have completed this blog post series. To get your discount code, simply email me your notes from this process. But remember it’s only good until February 14th, 2016.

Here’s to a new year of finding passion and creating an epic life!

Click here to learn all about the Create a Life You Love eCourse.

 

Your Epic Life: How to think big and get specific

Your Epic Life: How to think big and get specific

Dreams Fulfillment Goals Resolutions Solutions

Before we move on to Steps 4 and 5, let’s look back at the areas of attention you defined in Step 2 because you will need them here. Remember that it’s easier to focus on less than 8 areas. By being judicious, you’ll prevent burnout and a sense of overwhelm.

Now it’s time to start thinking big. I don’t mean you have to think massively, although that certainly makes this process a little bit more fun. The work we’re doing in Steps 4 and 5 primarily has to be meaningful to you.

It’s also not necessary to pick something for every single category or area of attention, yet I encourage you to do so. I want to make sure that you are creating joy in all the areas of your life that matter.

Always remember, however, that balance is key.

List one to three goals per area of attention.

Area 1:                                      Goals:

Area 2:                                      Goals:                                                                                                            

Area 3:                                      Goals:                                                                                                            

Area 4:                                      Goals:                                                                                                            

Area 5:                                      Goals:                                                                                                            

Area 6:                                      Goals:                                                                                                            

Area 7:                                      Goals:                                                                                                            

Area 8:                                      Goals:                                                                                                            

 

Step 5 – Getting Specific

This is where we’re going to define what you really want for yourself. It’s not enough to say, I want to be healthier, or I want to find someone special, or I want to make more money. You need to create goals that are quantifiable and measurable. And you need to be in control of whether they happen – meaning they need to be attainable. You can’t control whether you find the love of your life yet you can control how often you get off your couch to participate in life and how often you practice better communication skills. You can’t control whether you actually lose 10 pounds yet you can control what you eat and how often you exercise, which is what really leads to losing the weight.

So take a moment now to define what you want exactly. If you want to write a book, for example, then how many words a day can you commit to?

List the quantifiable outcomes and the specifics of each goal below.

goals table

So that is it for today. You’ve built a great foundation to creating an epic new year. Come back in a few days for Steps Six and Seven through which you’re going to create compelling reasons why you want to achieve these goals and then you’re going to create baby steps toward achieving them. Meanwhile, have an amazing day!

anything-is-possible (2)

Your Epic Life: how to create better habits

Your Epic Life: how to create better habits

Dreams Goals Planning Resolutions Solutions

Welcome back! Hopefully by now you’ve had some time to write answers to the questions in this blog post (here). Today, in Step 2, we are going to define your areas of attention. This is where you’re going to list the core areas of your life where you want to get results. Examples of core areas include: your health, continued learning, helping others, marriage or relationships, career, finances. The more creative you get with your naming in this area, the more committed you will be. For example, you could use the phrase “Expand the mind” instead of continue learning. Anything goes.

If you have any trouble identifying these areas, refer back to your answers in Step One.

Helpful Hint:  Don’t list any more than eight. In truth, it’s even better if you identify fewer than that. The point here is to know the areas in your life that matter the most and have fun with them.

Areas of attention

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2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

 

Step 3

Define resolutions and habits

Before we start thinking through massive goals, it is a good idea to start with general themes of improvement or change that you want to work on. Regard them as habits or resolutions. Habits differ from goals in the sense that goals are things you eventually accomplish or check off your list. Habits are things you want to adopt as a part of your life going forward. They are actions or behavior patterns that are regular, repetitive and unconscious – they are so ingrained that they are automatic. Some examples of habits include being early, scheduling less, slowing down, spending less time on email, simplifying or decluttering, getting more sleep, eating more healthfully.

The thing is, fully 95% of everything we do or say is determined by our habits, whether good or bad. Successful people have good habits that lead them to engage in constructive, fruitful behaviors throughout their lives. Unsuccessful people have inadvertently developed bad habits that cause them to act, or fail to act, in ways that lead to disappointment and frustration. Now we’re not just talking about career or financial success here – this applies to all areas of your life, including your health, friendships, and romantic relationships.

The thought of changing habits can be daunting for many, yet there is a really effective and simple approach to changing habits that I’ve adopted — it’s best to focus on one new habit or resolution at a time. Ideally you should focus on no more than one a month. If we do that one thing for a month straight, it will likely become a part of our routine. The good news is that for the super ambitious, this still allows for 12 new habits a year! However, I’d recommend fewer.

If you’d like to learn how to create better habits in 21 days or less, log on to my website
and order my free ebook called 21 days to Love, Joy and Prosperity.

So go ahead and list up to 12 habits you’d like to focus on for the New Year.

Habits and resolutions

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So those are Steps 2 & 3! Tune back in in a few days for Steps 4 & 5. You are on the verge of creating core goals in each area that you’d like to improve in your life, as well as getting specific in defining what it is that you really want.

do epic things

New Year’s Resolutions: Stretching for the stars

Courage Creativity Dreams Fulfillment Goals Homework Planning Resolutions Solutions Success

True confidence can only be found if we put our creative vision for our life to the test, and stretch our selves to the utmost.  – 3 of Wands

What you are is what you have been, what you will be is what you do now. – Buddha

If you’re like me, the New Year always brings with it an element of nostalgia – or better yet, regret – because I realize that I didn’t quite accomplish what I said I was going to do. When you look back at 2013, what are the things that you most regret NOT doing? In the early months of 2014, are you on track to NOT DOING them again? Rather than beat myself up, however, I look at January as an ideal opportunity to transform regrets into opportunities, or goals, for this coming year. And then, because I like to focus on the extraordinary, think about how these goals can S*T*R*E*T*C*H. I love stretch goals because they challenge us to break out of the routine. Are you ready to stretch your goals and give yourself a good mental/emotional workout? Continue reading

New Year’s Resolutions: Don’t dream it, be it

Dating Dreams Fulfillment Goals Homework Planning Relationships Resolutions Solutions Success

Don't wish for a great new yearIt’s a new year, another fresh start, another opportunity to dust off our dreams and desires and try them on again, in the hopes of attaining them. I’ve blogged about New Year’s resolutions before, (here and here) focusing on identifying the subconscious beliefs and behaviors prevent us from achieving our goals. What’s interesting to me is that, in my Continue reading

It’s time to attract the extraordinary!

Dating Skills Dreams Fulfillment Goals Planning Relationships Resolutions Special Events Success

Let’s Make 2014 the Year that You Attract the Extraordinary! Do you want to see all of your New Year’s resolutions come true? Do you want to attract an extraordinary relationship, or make current relationship gleam? Now’s the time get this party started! Let’s shut the door on 2013 and open a new one, to a life that sparkles with good friends, healthy finances and a thriving career – and most of all, let this be the year that you find Continue reading

Yea, though I Walk through the Valley of the Shadow of … Dreams

Creativity Freedom Goals Prosperity Resolutions Success

((This post originally appeared on my former blog in January 2012. I thought it was worth re-posting since winter always represents, for me, work done in solitude and how difficult that can be.))

Last week I wrote about how “going within” both literally and figuratively to a place of solitude triggered deep residing fears. Indeed my whole physical body was responding – my heart was pounding in my chest like I was running for my life and I was constantly short of breath. No amount of deep breathing exercises was helping. Continue reading

Fear of Failure: Its Effects On Your Goals

Goals Resolutions Success

If you’ve read the past two posts, you know that I’ve been ruminating on New Year’s goals ~ and why most of us never seem to achieve those goals. The first step, which we all seem to overlook and which I feel is bigger than any “actionable strategy” that we cook up, is to spend some time addressing our emotional core surrounding our goal(s). In my first post, we looked squarely and clearly at the issue we’re trying to change and took complete ownership of the situation we’ve created (translated another way: Not Blaming Anything or Anyone, including ourselves). Then we unearthed our underlying or subconscious beliefs surrounding our goals ~ viewpoints we weren’t even aware we had (i.e., I’ll always have to work hard; I’ll never meet the right guy; I’ll always be struggling with money.) Then we examined ourselves to see if we had any unrecognized emotional benefits as a result of not making a change, or if we might even be addicted to our struggle. Continue reading

Creating Resolutions You Can Actually Achieve

Goals Resolutions Success

Welcome to a new year, a new beginning,New Year resolutions a time when most of us decide that this year, we’re going to do things differently, that we’re going to achieve some long-held goal that we’ve never been able to achieve prior to this. But this year, it’s going to be different. We’re going to be different.

This collective enthusiasm for change is contagious – and can fuel us – so let’s first congratulate ourselves for Continue reading