Ask the Coach: Am I empowered?

Ask the Coach: Am I empowered?

Dear Coach Linda:  You keep talking about empowered singles – in fact, it seems like that’s the word to use these days, with all these “empowered” meet up groups springing up – but I’m not sure what that really means. How can you tell if someone is empowered? – Charlie

Hi Charlie, thanks for the question.

We're all superheroes in the making

We’re all superheroes in the making

As I mentioned in the most recent issue of my newsletter, empowerment really means, at a basic level, ‘becoming powerful‘. Building personal empowerment involves reflecting on our personal values, our limiting beliefs, skills and goals and being prepared to adjust our behavior to achieve our goals.

We all seek to be happy in our lives; empowerment, which focuses on human potential and our desire to express ourselves fully, is the basis for that happiness.

Singles who aim for empowerment are able to take control of their lives by making positive choices, which is vital to co-creating happy relationships. Developing self-awareness, which is an understanding of your strengths and limitations, is also key to personal empowerment and essential to co-creating harmony.

To help you determine how “empowered” you are, here’s a quick assessment.

On a scale of 1-3 (1=totally agree; 2=sometimes agree; 3=never agree), score each statement below. When thinking about each answer, recall real-life examples of when you acted on — or ignored — each statement.  In other words, look for verifiable proof of whether or not these statements are true for you.


  1. ___I am aware of all my commitments and remember to say NO when I need to.
  2. ___One of my top 5 priorities in my life is me and when I become overwhelmed, I give myself time to reflect and regroup.
  3. ___When involved in a romantic relationship, I still honor the importance of maintaining my own friends and personal interests.
  4. ___I do not compromise my integrity or the standards I live by for the sake of any relationship.
  5. ___When things don’t “feel” right, I do not ignore the message, knowing that this information is in my best interest.
  6. ___I understand that happiness comes from within and that I cannot rely on someone else to make me happy.
  7. ___I do not assume anything, and I am very specific about my intentions in my personal and business life.
  8. ___I am very important and want to be an equal partner in my relationships.
  9. ___I know that every relationship teaches me something new about myself and that I am a work in progress, in terms of my growth and awareness.
  10. ___I take things in stride because I know how too much stress impacts my life.
  11. ___I keep my focus on positive, healthy solutions when I am met with adversity.
  12. ___If I am faced with personal challenges I cannot resolve myself, I seek professional help.
  13. ___With all my close relationships, I look for someone with the qualities I want in a friend.
  14. ___I understand the value of keeping a sense of humor when the “going gets tough.”
  15. ___I am aware of my self-talk and keep my inner dialogue away from negative, self-demeaning comments.



If you “totally agree” with 13-15 statements, you are in a good state of empowerment and are looking out for what’s best for you. If you answered “sometimes” to four or more of these statements, it means you occasionally go against your best interest and are willing to sacrifice your health and well-being. Any “never” statements should be seriously looked at because you are sacrificing too much of yourself for others.


For more empowering information, go to to order your free digital download of my eBook 21 Days to Joy, Love & Prosperity. This workbook gives you the wisdom, tools and practices you need to make healthy, positive changes in your life.

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